Is it possible to live a life unattached? Especially in today’s western society?
Can we really travel through life as centred, spiritual beings, observing but not expecting, enjoying but not attaching. Many people have told me that is not realistic and for some not living.
If we are ‘spiritual beings have a human experience’, how human is this experience supposed to be? Emotions, attachment, expectations are all part of being human. Is too much of our time spent looking at ways to shut out our human side, change it, pretend we have transcended it? Instead of studying ways to escape the human experience should we not embrace it? Or are we completely disillusioned as to what the human experience is all about?
This morning I picked up my little book by Jon Kabat -Zinn ‘Arriving at your own door’. A dear friend of mine recently shared how he has been reading a chapter a day of Jon’s book, Full Catastrophe Living, another great read. Arriving at your own door is a great little book containing simple daily tips for Mindfulness. Ironically as I flicked through the book it fell open on the page
‘Fixed ideas of you’
“Nothing is to be clung to as I , me or mine” In other words no attachments – especially to fixed ideas of yourself and who you are”!
Hmmm accident….lol…I think not, especially as I don’t believe in accidents….
One thing I hear a lot from my clients though is,
- “Well if we are not attached to anything how can we set meaningful goals?
- “What is the point of having a relationship?
- “What is the point of anything?”
For me the meaning is in the moment. For it is only in this moment can we find meaning to anything and everything. The joy of being human is that we have the freedom/ preference to choose how we experience any and each moment, what importance we place on it, how we are going to show up and what beliefs we are attached to. However to really exercise our rights fully there needs to be a level of awareness. Being present without setting any rigid criteria or high expectations is what brings our being alive!
Now I am not proclaiming to be an expert at non attachment by any means but my awareness, hanging out in nature, daily practises, learnings and people I spend time with continuously remind me I always have a choice.
Tasty Tips for Non attachment - Moving from Knowing to Doing to Being
So how do we move from knowing to doing,
Here is one of my personal favorites a very simple yet effective recipe especially if you are looking to set goals or your intention.
My preference / intention is…. ( state the intention or preference) That way you can still move forward with some direction in life, whilst still maintaining a sense of freedom around the outcome. I am strong believer that in life we get what we need, which might not necessarily always be what we think we want. Life is a great teacher as long as you are willing to become an attentive student.
The second bit to my personal mantra is
I release attachment to the outcome and it defining whether I am… (lovable, successful, capable etc).. This is really important for whatever you feel the intention/ preference will give you, you need to be willing to release it.. there is always something even if it is simply reinforcing a belief.
I trust I will learn from, be grateful for and appreciate any outcome that may come my way as a result of my intentions.
Again very important, be grateful and appreciate the outcome, there are no lessons to be learnt in resentment, appreciation and non attachment are a powerful and empowering state to create an amazing life, or should I say enjoy a great human experience!
So there it is, my short but effective recipe for moving from attachment to preference. If you have any tips or recipes of your own please feel free to share, like all great recipes there are plenty out there to suit all taste buds. Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth is a great read as well if it is an area you wish to develop.
With love The Life Chef! x
Cooking up a storm in the universal kitchen!
